"This is the Stuff"

Some days are really rough.  Yesterday was one of those days.  By the time Brian got home, I had had it.  With H being clingy.  With H's fussing.  With the fact that my kitchen is a mess because we fixed some of the cabinets over the weekend.  With the dog being crazy because I didn't let her run in the yard because of the mud.  With my own lack of patience.  That was the biggest frustration of them all.

Mu wonderful husband could see that I was a mess and even though H didn't like it and he'd had a rough day himself, he took her for me.  I just sat down and had myself a good cry.  Call it a pity party, call it what you want.  Sometimes crying helps.  This time, it just made me feel more sorry for myself.  Probably because H was crying along with me.  Or maybe because I knew she'd still be fussing when I was done.  Or the fact that I knew that it was only 5:00 and there were still three hours until bedtime.  I was also stressing because we're going to start weaning next week and if she's this fussy now, what is THAT going to be like??  So yes, probably a pity party is the best word for it.

After H went to bed, Brian offered to give me a foot massage (I told you he was wonderful!) and we sat down to watch Star Trek.  I know, I'm a nerd, but sometimes a little TV helps me clear my head and there aren't a lot of good shows out there.  After Brian went to bed, I got out the computer and was working on editing some pictures.  That was just more frustration.

I made a short post about it on Facebook and received a lot of positive encouragement.  One of my friends told me I should listen to the song "This is the Stuff" by Francsca Battistelli.  Since Brian was in bed, I didn't go look it up until just now.  Wow.  Here are the lyrics.

I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind
Whoa

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh

This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use

Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use


This song totally hit me.  Why do I continually forget how big I'm blessed?  Why do we all?  I let so many little things get to me when God has done so much for me.  And how God is using all these little things.  Using them for what?  The song doesn't exactly say, but I think I can guess at least a few things.  I know he uses them to build up my patience.  He uses them to show me how small I am.  He uses them to show me that I'm not perfect.  He uses them to help me overcome myself.  He uses them to show me that it's not all about me.

Sometimes it takes a big kick in the pants for people to see those things and sometimes God does that.  But I think that more often, he just slowly nudges until we've figured them out.  And once we do, it doesn't make the trials (if you can even call them that) go away, it just makes them bearable.  Once we step away from our own little worlds, all the little stuff is just that.  Little stuff.  Stuff that doesn't even matter.  It might even become stuff that makes us laugh instead of cry.

Like the fact that H is right now pulling all the recycling (cereal boxes, junk mail, newspaper, milk cartons) out of the recycling box and climbing into it.  I'm laughing...not crying.  And I'm gonna go grab my camera!