Have I mentioned that I love fall? It's so exciting to watch H really appreciate it this year and get excited about the changing colors. This is a video of my favorite road in my hometown during this time of year. It's not a fancy road, but there are older homes and and older, bigger trees. And they're beautiful right now!
Now I know you're not supposed to take videos while driving, but since it's a smaller side street, I did it anyway this morning.
I think this is a good reminder that with all the decorating we do for fall, God is still the very best decorator of all! Nobody can beat what He does!
Growing up in a conservative Christian home, we quit celebrating Halloween when I was around preschool age. We would turn off all the lights and snuggle up with a movie while trick-or-treaters would pass our house. Later, our church began having harvest parties and we'd go to those. When I got married, my husband's family also didn't participate in Halloween, so it was just a given that we wouldn't as a married couple either.
Now, with a three year old who asks lots of questions, we've explained a little bit about what Halloween is and why we don't participate. I have assumed this would be how we'd live the rest of our lives...until yesterday.
The holidays are quickly approaching and with many ways to celebrate between October and December, you might start feeling a little stressed and uninterested.
Personally, I can't wait to read some of the e-books in this bundle! This was put together by a group of ladies I greatly admire and who do great work.
This past Tuesday was pregnancy and child loss awareness day and having a couple friends who have lost pregnancies lately and one friend who lost her six week old not long ago, my heart has been heavy for them. How heartbreaking it must be to lose a little one.
I want to share with you a testimony today of hearing God's voice.
When I was in my first year of college, I wanted so badly to hear from God. I had been close to God since I was a child, but I really wanted Him to speak directly to me. I'd been studying the Word a lot and I knew that He still spoke with people. I'd heard testimony after testimony of it. So why not me? I'd felt His presence many times, but I wanted something more.
Dear Girls (My Response to FYI if you're a teenage girl)
Dear Girls,
Over the past couple days, you may have read a letter written to you by one, Mrs. Hall. I read it too and I must admit, as a woman with two small children in the house who is not yet a mother of teenagers, but also hasn't been a teenager for quite some time, I quite agreed with Mrs. Hall. I thought it was great that she was protecting her sons from the visual stimulation of scantily-clad girls out there posting pictures for their enjoyment. I thought it was great that the Hall family looks at their Facebook feeds together. I thought it was fantastic that she was encouraging you girls to rethink how you present yourself in public.
But then I read this paragraph. "And so, in our house, there are no second chances, ladies. If you want to stay friendly with the Hall men, you'll have to keep your clothes on, and your posts decent. If you try to post a sexy selfie, or an inappropriate YouTube video - even once - you'll be booted off our on-line island." And honestly, I think she's fine in doing that as well. It's up to each mother to decide how to best parent her child and this is the choice she's made for herself.
I hesitate to even use the word "hard". I have friends and family going through much harder times than I'm going through. When I have friends who have had their little ones go home to Jesus, friends with children battling cancer, friends struggling with miscarriage and infertility, friends who might lose their babies in the womb at any time, I don't like to use the word "hard" to describe my life. I hesitate to even post this at all. But I know that I'm not the only one going through the regular "hard" times in day-to-day life. And so I feel like sharing will do no harm and will hopefully do someone some good.
This week has been one of the hard ones. Sometimes it feels too hard. Friday, my littlest got sick, and stayed sick for several days. As soon as she was better, H got sick and is still sick. It's
tough at any time to have sick kids, but this week has been harder than normal for me. Why? I had big plans.
I had hoped to get my house totally clean by the end of the week. I started Monday when we were kind of in between illnesses. I felt like I got a TON accomplished and was excited to see what the rest of the week would hold.
My daughter's room at the beginning of the day on Monday.
I'm ashamed to admit that it had looked this way for quite a while and took most of the day to clean up.
But when it was done and organized, I was so excited to get the rest of the house looking nice!
The same room at the end of the day! It is so wonderful to have a clean room!
And I'm so glad I got it done before she spent the whole next night throwing up.
I might have hurt myself getting to her over and over that night if it had still looked the way it did before cleaning!
So here's what the rest of the week has held. Cleaning up after a sick little one, loads and loads of laundry, and an exhausted mommy, sick three year old, and whiny two year old who is still getting over being sick and would rather be doing the "normal" stuff than sitting around at home. Sadly, none of my plans were a success. M's room is still a disaster, the kitchen table barely has room to eat on it, the living room is piled high with clean laundry needing to be folded and put away (at least it's clean though!), and every other room in the house needs a good cleaning.
I think the worst of it is, our church retreat is this weekend and it's something I look forward to all year long. It's great time for growing closer as a family and a church family and it's very renewing for me. It's not only nice to get away and focus on God, it's also nice to relax a little and not have to worry about cooking or cleaning for a weekend. At this point, it's not looking promising that we'll make it. And it's becoming very tempting for me to slip into pitying myself.
This is the verse that God keeps bringing to my mind today.
James 1:2-4
My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
Patience. Patience. Patience. It's what God keeps driving into my heart. If we let it do its work, it can make us be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. And doesn't that sound wonderful? It does to me. I know that God has a perfect plan for me, not only for this week, but for all the months and years ahead. Please pray for me today, that no matter how much longer the sickness lasts in our house, I'll be able to avoid falling into pitying myself and instead, count it all joy.
This is part 4 of a series of posts. Part 1 can be found here. Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
I could not complete this series without addressing this question: Why do children of Godly parents grow up and "depart from" the way. Isn't the promise that they won't depart from it?
I've heard several answers to this question over the years, but none have set right with me. Here are a few.
Perhaps the children will eventually come back to the fold. This one doesn't work for me. There are examples even in scripture of those children growing old and dying and not coming back into the fold.
Maybe the parents didn't do a good enough job of training. This one doesn't sit well either. So if the parent isn't perfect, the child is destined for failure? That's not the way God works. Remember the post about grace? I believe that God also gives us grace daily in our child rearing.
Everyone has their agency. The child, although trained by diligent parents, has the agency to choose their own path in the end. This is absolutely true. But then, what of the promise?
Finally, I heard an answer that satisfied the questions and I want to share it with you. It all comes down to one word. Promise. And where that scripture is found. Proverbs.
Proverbs is a book of wisdom. Not a book of promises.
Proverbs 10:4 says, He becometh poor that dealeth with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich. Is it ALWAYS true that the lazy are poor and the hard working are rich? No. But it is still wise advice to be hard working.
There are examples like this throughout Proverbs. One of the best things I read in preparing for this series was found here. "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and sometimes you wind up in Congress banning light bulbs for the rest of us." It made me laugh because...it's true! Sometimes the lazy people get the cushy, high paying jobs and sometimes the hard workers end up with no job or money at all. But that's not the norm. Proverbs gives us wisdom to do the right thing. The norm is, if you train your child to follow God when they are young, they will walk with him when they are old. And that is what Proverbs 22:6 is teaching us.
Thank you for joining me on this four part journey. I hope you were encouraged and reminded of the importance of child training. It's not easy and in this world, we often feel as if we're walking alone. I feel like there is so much more that could be shared on the topic, so if you'd like, please leave a comment and add to the discussion. I'd love it if you did!
Why is child training important? This is part 3 of a series of posts. Part 1 can be found here.
When your child is learning to ride a bike, where do you start? With a two wheeler? No...usually, you begin with a trike of some sort. Then, they may move up to a big wheel or a bigger trike. From there, they might move up to a two wheeler with training wheels. When the training wheels are removed, you'll hold onto them as they ride the two wheeler, helping them keep from falling. Eventually, you'll let go and they will take off down the sidewalk. They'll probably fall along the way somewhere and skin their knee and when they do, you're right there next to them.
But what if you skipped the earlier steps?
If I had gotten my three year old a full-sized bike for her third birthday, she would have been equally excited. She'd have wanted to climb right on and go for a ride. If I had put her on and given her a little push, she'd have fallen over and gotten very hurt. If she lived to be eight or nine, she might learn to ride that bike on her own, but without the proper training, there would be a lot more pain and danger for her along the way.
The same is true in all other kinds of training. If you let a baby just crawl around with no diaper, and gave them no direction, they'd proceed to make a mess all over you and the house. Eventually, they may learn to go in the toilet, but not before there were accidents everywhere.
There are some things that come naturally to a child. Rolling over, crawling, pulling up, walking, and talking are all things that they'll pick up on their own. Other things don't come naturally. Romans 3:10 tells us, There is none righteous, no, not one. 1 Corinthians 2:14 says, But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishnes unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. Sin comes naturally to us. Obedience does not. Sin separates us from God and will separate our children from Him also when they reach the age of accountability. We are responsible for training them up so that when they reach that age, they're ready to obey and follow Him.
This is easy to read over and even think about, and still not realize how important it is to train our children. It all goes back to the scripture in yesterday's post about the rod. Let's look at the rod as training. Whether you are sitting down with the rod of scripture, speaking the truth to your child or using the rod of correction and spanking your child, we can all agree that the rod is a tool of training. So why is training so important?
Proverbs 13:24 He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. This one is the most clear to me and drives home the importance of child training and why it MUST NOT be neglected. Proverbs 23:13-14 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Friends, can you see the importance of this? Neglecting child training is dangerous to our children! Our children, if they continue in their fleshly desires, doing as they please and not submitting to the will of God (which they learn by submitting to the will of God-fearing parents) are on the path to hell. Please, do not neglect the training of your children.
Since this series isn't really discussing methods of training, I want to open the comments up for that. Please be respectful and kind to one another. Views on this subject vary greatly. So my question is, how do you train your children? What methods do you find to be most effective? Please join me tomorrow for the final portion of this series. "Why does Proverbs 22:6 sometimes fail?"
Why Do Parents Choose Not to Train up a Child? This is part 2 of a series of posts. Part 1 can be found here.
Fast forward a year or so. I have a little one who is nearing potty training time. I'm in several Facebook groups that are focused on breastfeeding, babywearing, and general attachment parenting. I began hearing a phrase I hadn't heard before. It was "potty learning". At first, I thought it was kind of silly. Wasn't it the same thing?
M. decided she wanted to try the potty at an early age. :)
We allowed her, but formal potty training hasn't taken place
yet and she still potties in her diaper most of the time.
As I associated in these circles more and more, I noticed a trend. Training was looked upon as almost a dirty word. Whether it be potty training or sleep training or simply training your child to obey, there was much to be said about letting a child make their own choices and decisions and avoiding discipline of any kind along the way. This was all new to me.
And yet, it wasn't. I'd been working in the public school system for over three years. I hadn't seen the parents interacting much with their children, but I'd seen the results. The halls of our schools are filled with children who have been raised by parents who are unwilling for one reason or another to train their children.
Why?
Why have parents chosen this route? It's clearly not working. The parents aren't happy, the children aren't happy, the teachers aren't happy, and more and more, we're beginning to see the effects. So why does the trend continue? There are several clear reasons I see.
Reason 1: Parents want a better life for their children than what was given to them. I've seen this one multiple times. Parents of small children are not close to their own parents because their parents never respected them, never approved of them, or even worse, were abusive. This next generation wants better for their own children and they find it in the "attachment parenting" viewpoint. (Disclaimer: I am not anti-attachment parenting. I do extended breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, etc. But I'm not for the anti-child-training aspects of attachment parenting.) These parents find this group of moms who seemingly love their children more than other mothers. They are attached. And the latch onto that and go with it in every aspect.
Reason 2: It's a trend. Letting a child make choices for his or herself. Building a child's self esteem. Helping a child discover themselves. Child-led weaning. Child-led play. Child-led learning. These are all huge trends today. I'm not saying that any of them in and of themselves are bad, but when they indicate that the parent's role is to be as hands-off as possible and not give the child any type of guidance, that's where the issues arise. The parent's role cannot be nothing more than a bodyguard to make sure nothing or no one hurts their child. Look at the example of Christ. Leading, guiding, teaching, training. The two just don't mesh.
Reason 3: It is the will of the devil that parents not train their children. Okay, losing some readers over that one, I'm sure. But it's the truth. Look at the scripture.
Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Why would the children need to obey the parents if the parents aren't directing them in some way? Proverbs 23:13-14 Withold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. These verses are pretty clear. I know that there is much discussion about what it means to use the rod. Some say the rod means the Word of God. Others say it's a rod like a shepherd's rod used to direct the child. Others say it is a rod of correction (spanking). No matter how you use the term "rod", these verses show a clear need to direct your child. It's clear that in training your child, you're delivering his soul from hell. Deuteronomy 6:4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD they God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all they might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. It is SO important that we teach our children to love the LORD and to walk with Him.
Ephesians 6:1- Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be will with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. These verses are amazing. It holds such promise for children who obey. And such wisdom for parents. Gentle discipline and instruction are emphasized.
There are multiple other verses in scripture that address good parenting and child training. I just picked a few. The point is, this isn't something that God is silent about. It's very clear that parents are given to children to raise them up to be Godly individuals. If we fail to do our duty, our children will likely be found not in the hands of God, but in the hands of the devil. So what else? What other reasons do you see that parents choose not to train their children? Visit tomorrow for part 3...
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
I've been mulling this post over and over for...well...years now. There are several parts to it and I've been trying to find the right way in which to address them. Let me go back to when I bought my puppy a few years ago. (I know this seems irrelevant, but stay with me! It'll make sense!)
I don't often post pictures of myself on here, but I love this one!
Me and Ellie meeting for the first time. :)
I wanted to get a dog well before having children so I could have her properly trained before the babies started arriving. I got her at the beginning of the summer after my first year of teaching and spent the entire summer working with her. She was SO well trained! Not only did we train her to do the "normal" things (potty outside, sit on command, come when called), we trained her to do all sorts of other things as well. She would ring a bell when she needed to go out. She would sit until released...not just a couple of seconds. She wouldn't jump (not normal for a spunky little sheltie). She could sit, lay down, "possum" (play dead), play peek-a-boo, and any number of other fun tricks. She would sit and look at a plate full of meat (or a plate with some leftover scraps of meat from our dinner...all the same to her!) and not even touch it until she was told it was okay. She was (and still is) a well trained dog.
Ellie playing peek-a-boo
Ellie dancing
It took a lot of time and work and treats along the way, but wow, it was worth it! She's not perfect now...she's lost some of her obedience since I've had two children and haven't been able to work with her as much, but she's still well-loved and a puppy we like to have around because she's obedient and, in general, minds her manners.
Sharing with H.
Skip ahead to my second year of teaching. It was a challenging year. I had a class that was...well...difficult, to say the least. The standing procedure at the school was that when certain things happened in class, the consequence was walking so many laps at recess. Pretty standard. Well, the laps were supposed to be walked without talking. When a student chit-chatted while walking their laps, they were required to do them again. The point was for it to help them remember to not talk during class...if they were talking during the consequence, it did no good. Most of the students totally understood this and had no problem with it. But a few of them didn't think it was fair. And neither did their parents. I received an email from one mom in particular telling me that this just was not acceptable.
"Asking the students to be outside near all those kids at recess and expect them not to talk was like dangling meat in front of a dog and expecting them to not eat it!"
Ellie wait...
Hmmm...I heard this shortly after training Ellie to sit nicely and wait for the release words before eating the meat in front of her. In fact, by this time, we'd trained Ellie to sit while we put a treat on her nose and then wait until released to pop the treat into the air and catch it in her mouth.
Waiting patiently.
So what was this mom telling me? She didn't want her 11 year old child as well behaved as my 6 month old puppy? No. She didn't like the behavior either. It was the training that bothered her. She didn't want her child to have to go through the training.
And so here we are... 2 Timothy 3:1-5 This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
Have you seen examples of parents not wanting to train their children? I'd invite you to share in the comments below. Join me tomorrow for part 2...
What a thought! God's grace is so incredible. It's saving. It's refreshing. It's light. It's truth. It's life changing.
And we're called to be like Him. Wow...what a calling.
I think of this often when in the midst of child training. There are times I am tempted to just hold a firm, unwavering hand when training. It's in those times that God reminds me how much grace He shows me. And if my children see grace in me, they will more easily understand the grace that God pours down on them when that time comes.
Friends, these are the thoughts I want fresh in your minds as I begin my series on child training. In the midst of all we must do to "train up a child", it is so very important to remember grace.
I've been reading Exodus and this morning's chapter was about when the Israelites received manna from God on a daily basis. As I was reading, I began to think about what trust those with soft hearts must have come to have in the Lord God. Each day, they were only allowed to take enough for that day. No more. They weren't allowed to store the food (except on the night before the Sabbath) and save it up for "hard times" or "just in case". Every morning, they depended on God and God alone to provide their food. And every morning, He did. He never failed them. For forty years, they relied simply on Him.
It made me think about my life. What do I have in my life that I must depend 100% on God to give me? The obvious answer is, everything. And yet, it's so easy to forget. Every day I wake up, I'm breathing, the house is a comfortable temperature, there is food in the refrigerator, fresh water comes from the faucet, and the sun rises. It's been that way my whole life. Learning to trust God should be easy for me. Each of those things is a gift from Him. And yet it's so easy to forget.
It reminds me of one of my favorite songs. Land of the Free by Andrew Peterson.
If you don't have time to listen to the whole thing, here's the verse that is the most powerful to me.
Well I’m weary of the spoils of my ambitionAnd I’m shackled by the comfort of my couch.Well I wish I had the courage to deny these of myselfAnd start to store my treasure in the clouds.For this is not my home,I do not belong where the antelope and the buffalo roam. 'Cause I’m just a little jealous of the nothing that you have.You’re unfettered by the wealth ofA world that we pretend that’s going to last.They say God blessed us with plenty;I say you’re blessed with poverty,'Cause you never stop to wonderWhether earth is just a little better than The Land of the Free
May God be with you today and help you remember that everything you have is His and this is not your home. I know that's a reminder I need daily!
We're singing a song in choir this year that has a line at the end that goes like this, "And all who search, who will search with open eyes, who will pray with open hearts, they will see the light and find the Lord." The first time I listened to it, I thought it said, "open minds" instead of "open eyes" and I inwardly cringed.
I've been accused on more than one occasion of being closed-minded.
I was pondering this because in the past, it has really bothered me to be called closed-minded. I began to think about what the Scriptures have to say on the matter. I'm not going to quote scriptures, I assume all who read this blog have access to them in one way or another, I'll just give a summary of what I found.
The long and the short of it is this: we're not called to be open-minded. It seems that there are two states that the mind can be in. A bad state (high-minded, double-minded, feeble-minded...) and a good state (like-minded, sober-minded...). The only reference to having an open mind is one that states to open your mind so the mysteries of God can be unfolded to you. This goes along quite well with the verse that states that the mysteries of God will be unfolded unto you if you keep God's commandments.
Nowhere does it mention opening your mind to ponder the things of the world. Not to mention the fact that usually, when I'm being accused of being closed minded, it's regarding something that the Bible specifically states is a sin. And if I'm sinning or condoning sin, I'm separated from God and how can He show me his mysteries, or even His love for that matter?
It's all a trap.The idea that you need to have "an open mind" is trap of the devil to separate us from a loving God.
Okay, I realize that at this point, anyone who disagrees with me will probably stop reading (although I hope not, I'm saving the really good stuff for the end), but I'll continue anyway. So if we're not to be open-minded, what is supposed to be open? Our hearts, of course. Our hearts and our ears.
God can open our hearts, soften our hearts, and speak to our hearts.
So Lord, give us ears to hear, hearts to understand, and minds that are like-minded with You.
But what about our minds? Didn't God give us minds so we could think things through? So we could learn and understand? Of course! But he didn't give us minds alone. He gave us hearts to open to Him. As I sat in my college science class back in 2006, the puzzle pieces began to fit together. The topic was evolution and I just couldn't believe that people who were considered scholars could actually believe this stuff. There is no solid evidence, it can't be repeated, it's not testable. And yet, the theory that the world was created by a big bang is considered science by the vast majority of scientists. But if you questioned them deeper (Where did the stuff come from that was there before the big bang? How is it even remotely possible that what we have now came from nothing? The chances are one in billions, how can you believe this?), they didn't have answers.
They are still learning.
"Ever learning, and never able to come to a knowledge of the truth" (2 Timothy 3:7)
because although their minds are open, their hearts are closed up tight and their ears will hear anything but the voice of a loving God.
Well, I'm not going to feel bad about being closed-minded anymore.
And I'm not going to take it as an insult when I'm told that I'm closed-minded.
Perhaps I'll smile and say, "you're right, but my heart is wide open".
And maybe I'll sound foolish. But you know, I don't have a problem with that either.
I was at a church retreat this weekend and I really enjoyed it. The girls had a good time (for the most part) and we're all glad to be home. Our theme scripture was this, Psalms 50:5 "Gather my saints together unto me; those that have made a covenant with me by sacrifice." Our classes and sermons were about making an acceptable sacrifice to God. There were a couple things said that really touched me and I'd like to share them.
The first was said during a sermon. Our minister was talking about sacrifices and what made them acceptable to God. He said (basically: I'm not directly quoting anything here!) that sacrificing something that is already sinful in nature isn't what God is asking for. You're already supposed to give those up. So I can't give up my addiction to facebook or my gambling habit (Yes, I am addicted to facebook. No, I don't have a gambling habit) and say, "Look what I've sacrificed for God!" Those things are things we need to give up anyway. They don't really count.
The second thing that really touched me was an analogy that speaks to what IS an acceptable sacrifice. The minister was speaking in a sermon (I don't remember if it was the same one or a different one. The weekend kind of runs together!) and gave what he considered a crude analogy, but one that really spoke to my heart. I'll do my best to repeat it the way he told it. Imagine that you decide you're going to sacrifice everything for God. He's asked us to give everything, so you decide to sell everything you own. You list it all as a package deal on craigslist. Your home, your food, your clothes, your husband/wife, your kids, your parents and siblings, everything. You say to "Make me an offer". Within 20 minutes, you get a call and the man on the line says he'll pay any price you name. He comes over and counts out the money. You tell him whatever price you think seems fair - a million dollars, a trilion... - whatever. He pays you in cash and you give that cash to the church, or the poor, or whatever. You give it to God. Then, that Man tells you that He is going to give all your belongings back to you, but He wants you to use them to glorify Him.
Wow. This really convicted me. My home, my children, my computer, the internet that comes to our home. My television. My car. Not to mention my voice, my actions, my clothing... If I've given my life to Christ, I'm to be using all of that - everything that I have which really, is all stuff He gave to me in the first place - to glorify Christ. And that is an acceptable sacrifice.
That's a hard commitment to make. I remember at camps as a child making commitments to follow God or read my scriptures more or be more kind to my parents. At the end of this retreat, I wanted to say that I'd go home and use everything I have for God's glory. But it's not a light thing to make a commitment to God. And He doesn't want me to just say it. He wants me to do it. He wants me to live it. And wow, that's hard.
Whenever I pray with H, I always say an extra little prayer that God will become real to her. I don't remember ever coming to the realization that there was a God, I just always believed it and He was always a part of me and I want so much for it to be that way for my children as well. One way I pray that He'll become real to H is by answering her prayers quickly so she'll make a connection between talking to God and God's response. This has happened twice lately and I just wanted to share these two little testimonies with you.
Wow, it’s been a long time since I last posted and this one is going to be a doozy! I recently became engaged in a debate regarding a hot topic in our country, especially right now as election season draws near. The topic of abortion. I want to preface this with a story. I’ve been asked many times how I became involved in the pro-life movement. I’ve always been pro-life and have always voted pro-life, but I really wasn’t all that involved until the past couple of years. Brian and I attend a church that is VERY pro-life. As a church, they attend vigils, preach pro-life messages, and try to be involved in pro-life organizations. Brian and I thought all these things were good, but we’d never been incredibly active and were fairly passive about being on the front lines. Whenever a prayer vigil would come up, we’d think, “Oh, we should go to that,” but then would forget or something “more important” would come up. Then, one evening, we were headed out to eat dinner and came to an intersection where we saw people standing on the sides of the road holding signs. The realization came over both of us that it was our branch. I ducked low and we hoped the light would change quickly. I guess that wasn’t God’s plan because we were spotted. Our fellow church members smiled and waved and we waved back. We decided then and there to never miss a vigil again. It’s grown from there, and we really feel God’s calling to be on the front lines fighting for the rights of the unborn.
That leads me to this debate. I want to share with you some of the pro-choice arguments that are widespread and some solid pro-life answers, but first I want to give a bit of advice. Pray. Pray every day that when you come in contact with people who are pro-choice, you’ll have an opportunity to discuss their stance on the issue. And pray for guidance in every word you speak. Only God can change hearts and we need to be in earnest prayer that He will do so.
Pro-Choice Argument: There’s no proof of when a soul enters the body.
Pro-Life Answer: The issue of the soul is really irrelevant to the abortion argument. There really is no “proof” aside from scripture, but if you are debating with a Christian, here are some solid arguments.
As a Christian, I have all the evidence I need of when the soul enters the human body. Scripture tells us that it is at conception. Mary was told by the angel Gabriel that she would (future tense) conceive. She then hurried to get to Elizabeth. John the Baptist (who is in the sixth month in Elizabeth’s womb) responds to the presence of Jesus within Mary by leaping for joy. Allowing for travel, Mary would have been no more than 8-10 days past conception. Jesus was not even fully implanted in Mary’s womb when John responded to His presence. (Luke 1) This along with many other scriptures about God forming us in the womb clearly shows how God feels about the matter.
Pro-Choice Argument: No one can prove that what is inside the womb is human.
Pro-Life Answer: The fact that the being in the womb is human and should be given all the rights of any other human being can be made from a secular, scientific point of view as well as a philosophical standpoint. Really, science can’t tell us to value human life and when; we have an obligation in society to make those philosophical decisions. Science just provides us with the data we need to make those decisions. Many on the pro-choice side will argue that a child is simply part of the mother. This is false. Science tells us that as soon as fertilization takes place, a new being is formed. That being has DNA totally separate from the mother and father. It is a living, self-directing being. The only thing it needs to survive is nutrition and a suitable environment. Just like you and me! There is really no question in the world of science when human life begins. The question is a moral one as to when we value that life. Many people look at the words embryo and fetus and see them as calling the being non-human. This isn’t the case at all. It is just another phase of human development. Just as there are babies, toddlers, children, teenagers, and adults. A zygote is the first stage of human development, followed by an embryo, then fetus, then infant, baby, toddler, child, teenager, and adult. These stages can be broken down further, but this illustrates an important point. Calling someone something other than a human being doesn’t make it so.
Although science shows us that at fertilization, the being is human, for the sake of argument, I’ll go one step further. The heart of a baby in the womb begins to beat at 21 days past conception. There are brainwaves at about 42 days past conception. Abortion literally stops a beating heart. That is how a person (outside the womb) is pronounced dead. Also, even if you doubt science, which calls the being a separate entity at fertilization, no one can doubt that this beating heart and these brain waves are not yours. Let’s not be silly. You did not grow yourself a new brain or a new heart in your uterus. They grew from a totally separate being.
Pro-Choice Argument: If you believe there is a human baby in the womb, it is your responsibility to prove that, otherwise we don’t have a responsibility to protect it.
Pro-Life Answer: Many on the pro-choice side cling a lot to the idea that the burden of proof lies with those on the pro-choice side of the argument. Their thinking is flawed here. The burden of proof always lies with the one who wishes to destroy. In the case of slavery, the slave holder must be the one to prove that the one they are enslaving is less than human. (The slave holders in our country wanted to prove that their slaves were less than human. Obviously they could not as their premise was false, and great injustice was done until government and society intervened.) The same is true with killing someone because their “quality of life” is not good. We must prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that a prisoner is heinously guilty before they are executed. We must prove that a patient is brain dead before the plug is pulled. If a building demolisher came to you and told you they were about to demolish a building and they’re pretty sure there’s no one inside, that wouldn’t be good enough. They would have to prove absolute vacancy before they demolished the building because if there was someone inside, it would be murder. Also, I believe that most people would try to stop the person and convince them that the burden of proof lies with them. They must prove the building is void of life before demolishing it. The same is true in this situation. You must prove with 100% certainty that the baby is not a human being if you want to destroy it. If you’re not sure where life begins, it is still your duty to protect the life that could possibly be in the womb or prove that it is not life at all.
Pro-Choice Argument: Women have rights. They have the right to “the pursuit of happiness” and the matter inside them shouldn’t take away that right.
Pro-Life Answer: They are right in that every being has the right to “the pursuit of happiness”. But life is the first right. You need life to have liberty. You need liberty to be able to pursue happiness. The least right cannot overwhelm the greatest or else societal chaos ensues. That thinking is incredibly dangerous. It is saying that your happiness trumps someone else’s life and unalienable rights. You cannot kill to satisfy your happiness.
Pro-Choice Argument: Abortion is legal. States can’t make laws against it.
Pro-Life Answer: This is a big one right now as many states are currently working to place regulations on abortion clinics. Yes, currently federal law does state that you can kill your unborn child. In our country, we have faced unjust federal laws before and these laws have been dealt with in the same manner as what this law in Virginia is doing. Slavery was allowed under federal law. Some states chose to implement slavery and other states put restrictions so slavery could not be allowed. Eventually, federal law was changed and a war ensued. The point here is that abortion, like slavery, is federally protected, but states still have the right to enact legislation that puts restrictions in place. Even if a state wanted to say, “Yes, this is murder. Let’s all agree it’s murder,” they have only one option at this time. That option is to put regulations in place that make it more difficult to perform the murder. This is the right of each individual state until the states lose their rights which will not happen as long as the constitution is upheld.
Special thanks to my pro-choice friend who provided a stirring debate and got me thinking about my answers to all these questions. Also, to my wonderful brother-in-law whose words I may have used several times as he has a way of putting things that helps them to make sense and be meaningful. Also, I must give credit to the 180 movie. I use some of the same analogies they use because I think they are so powerful. I pray these words will touch your hearts. It's time some progress was made in the pro-life movement.
It's 6:30 and M is just winding up her fussy time. Brian takes her so I can have a break while I get H ready for bed. I get H to bed by 7:00 and then it's my turn with M . I try to nurse her. She squirms in my arms, resisting. She doesn't want to cuddle. I walk with her. Brian walks with her. Around 7:30, she finally settles down. She nurses for about ten minutes and then resumes her squirmy fussiness. I just want her to rest in my arms. Why won't she just relax? We walk some more. At some point around 8:30, she nurses until she falls asleep. I'm ready for her to sleep since we've been up since 6:30 a.m. with only very short naps in between. I lay her gently in her bassinet and go pop some popcorn. When I come back, she's awake. This is a bit frustrating, but okay. I pick her up and nurse her some more while I enjoy my popcorn. She falls back to sleep. I lay her back down and go brush my teeth. By now, it's after 9:00. I come back to the bedroom and she's awake. How can this be? I am really not sure I have the patience for this! I scoop her back up, trying to not let her know how frustrated I am. I nurse her back to sleep and I finally get to go to sleep around 10:30.
She wakes me up to feed her at about 2:30 and I lay her back down around 3:30. At 6:30, we start the new day. As I said before, her naps are very short and it takes a long time of nursing to get her quieted down enough to lay her down. My arms are tired. I'm tired of touch. I want to have my hands free for just a few minutes. I need some quiet time. When she finally falls asleep for what should be her good afternoon nap around 1:00, H wakes up. It's frustrating. It's tiring. I sometimes question if I'm cut out for this.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a mother. I just want to express these feelings I'm sure we all sometimes feel. And now, I want to look at them in a different light. Turn it around. You are now that fussy child. I am now that fussy child.
God wants so much for us to just rest in His arms. Why won't we rest? Why won't we trust Him and relax? We start to go limp, totally trusting Him, but then we realize we're not in control and we arch our backs and squirm away. We fuss. We cry. We complain. But does He ever feel the way I feel sometimes? Does He run out of patience? No, I don't believe He does.
In spite of us; in spite of me, He doesn't get frustrated. He doesn't get tired. When we run to Him and decide we need Him, He holds us for as long as it takes. His arms never get too full. His heart is always open.
Feasting upon the Word is something that is sometimes easier said than done. It seems that so many things can come up that get in the way. That's why it is SO important to set aside that time to spend with our children reading the Word of God.
I remember growing up, we learned Scripture by putting it to music. This worked so well for us and I still often have a scripture (song) stuck in my head. This is so great, because when it's in my head, it's also in my heart.
Today, I came across a blog by The Better Mom that reminded me how important this is. It's time to get out the Scripture tapes and start listening to them with H so that she can grow up with God's Word hidden in her heart!
Yesterday morning, I woke up and turned on the news as usual. I always like to catch the weather for the day as well as see what else is going on in the world. My heart stopped as I heard the story of baby Lisa. This ten month old girl was tucked into her crib on Monday night and when her daddy went to check on her at around four in the morning, she was gone. They believe someone came in through her bedroom window and left through the same window, taking only the baby.
I immediately muted the TV and listened. Often, I can hear H moving around in her crib in the mornings while I nurse M and it was no different this morning. I could her her crib creaking as she rolled around. My heart started beating again. I am still so sad for baby Lisa and am praying for her safe recovery.
Last night as I tucked H into bed, the fear overtook me again. "What if she's not here in the morning?" I thought. I even considered having her sleep with me. My heart racing, I kissed her goodnight and left the room. I shut the door, but that wasn't the last time I peeked in on her. Before I went to bed, I looked in, just to make sure all was well.
It was that last time that I realized what I was and was not doing. I was holding tight to my little girl. I was thinking that I could protect her. I was not letting her go. I was not putting her into God's hands. This is something I've struggled with since she was born.
If someone were to ask me what my greatest fear is, it is hands down, losing a child. I don't think I knew what fear was until H was born. There are times when I'm so fearful that God will send me through that trial that I beg Him not to. I can't imagine the pain that people go through when they lose a child. This fear has, at times, overcome me to where I can't even function normally. H began sleeping through the night very early on. I would wake up and just stare at her chest willing it to move. It always did. I've done the same with M at times. With both girls, if they'd cough in the night, I jump up and make sure they can breathe okay.
I know that some of this is mothering instinct, but I also know what God has to say about the matter. We are to dedicate our children to Him. He wants us to trust Him with their care. Trust. That's a hard thing to do when you hold something so dear.
Psalm 32:10
Many sorrows shall be to the wicked;
But he that trusteth in the Lord,
Mercy shall compass him about.
So last night after I shut H's door, I placed her in God's hands again. I know that His mercy will compass about our home and He will take care of us.
I'd love to hear how you have placed your children in God's hands and trusted Him. It's not an easy thing to do. How have you given your little ones to God?
Welcome to Candle in the Night! I am a stay at home mom and wife of my wonderful husband, two beautiful girls and a sweet little boy. I'm striving to be the faithful, loving wife and mother that God has called me to be. Come visit my blog at www.candleinthenight.com!
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