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Candle in the Night

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

The Best Birth Story Ever

I couple years ago, I heard the best birth story I've ever heard.  This one will have you ROLLING with laughter!  I've changed the names, but the details are the same.  Keep in mind, Molly and Frank are now in their 70's or 80's, so this took place quite a long time ago.

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Molly and Frank had lived in a small town of five hundred their whole lives.  They knew everyone and everyone knew them.  At the end of Molly's pregnancy with her second daughter, Molly woke up in the middle of the night and knew it was time.  She woke up Frank and told him to go get her mother to watch their first child and also told him to call the doctor.  The doctor lived right across the street from Molly and Frank and they knew he was still up because they could see his office light on.

When Frank arrived with Molly's mother, Molly asked what the doctor had said.  Unfortunately, Frank had forgotten to call the doctor.  By this time, the office lights had gone out.  Frank ran frantically across the street and pounded on the doctor's door.  The doctor gathered his things and they both headed back across the street.  By this time, Frank was panicking.  The plan was to go to the doctor's office, but after checking Molly, the doctor said they weren't going anywhere!

He told Frank to boil some water.  Frank went out to the kitchen and pulled out every pot, pan, and container he could find.  He filled them all with water and put them on the stove to boil.  When the doctor came in, he exclaimed, "For goodness sake, I just wanted some hot water to wash my hands!!"

The baby was born not too long after.  The doctor was cleaning up afterwards and handed the afterbirth to Frank wrapped in a towel and told him to dispose of it.  (Back in those days, they usually buried it and the doctor assumed Frank would know this.)  Frank walked out to their trash bin, deposited the afterbirth inside, and SET IT ON FIRE!  The smell was so bad, the neighbors wondered what was going on! When they went around town announcing they'd had their new baby, the general response was, "We know.  We smelled it."

I just love this story!  You have a woman who is calm enough to give her frantic husband instructions and a husband who is frantic enough to do crazy things like set the afterbirth on fire!  I think this belongs in a comedy movie somewhere.  I just love stories like this!  What is the craziest thing that happened during your birth?  I think mine is arriving at the hospital barely in time for the baby to arrive!  Not quite the same comedic value as Frank and Molly's story, but exciting just the same!



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